Auros (auros) wrote,
Auros
auros

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Still sick, and April Fools Actions

I am, as mentioned, still sick. However, I got a kick out of sending the following "April Fools Actions" through the Working Assets site. (Note that both have been edited slightly from the original. In particular, I added the link to the "educational video" in the latter. You should check it out.

Draft the Bush Twins First.

To: Senators and Rep
Subject: Draft the Bush Twins First

The Pentagon has now requested that the Selective Service System draw up plans for a targeted military draft of Americans with "special skills" such as computer programming or knowledge of certain foreign languages.

Would our elected representatives be so quick to go to war if there was a legitimate chance their own children would be the Americans to pay the ultimate price? It's time to stand up to the Bush administration and chickenhawks in Congress and call for a targeted draft of Americans with "special skills" for avoiding sacrifice in a time of war: the children of warmongering politicians.

Draft the Bush twins first! If politicians are going to conscript Americans and put their lives on the line for the Bush administration's foolhardy foreign policy, they must start by sending their own sons and daughters to Iraq.

Sure, this note is intended as an ironic parody... But the sentiment is serious. Please let me know how you intend to proceed on this issue.

Sincerely,
(etc)


Starbucks, "Tall" is not Small.

To: Starbucks Customer Relations
Subject: Tall is Not Small

I am writing to urge Starbucks to stop using the pretentious "tall, grande, and venti(r)" labels to describe the sizes of your drinks and instead use "small, medium, and large."

This educational video may help you understand the concept of "small, medium, and large."
http://www.illwillpress.com/sml.html

While you are at it, I would also like to urge you to serve BGH-free milk along with your fair trade coffee.

Please let me know how you intend to proceed on this issue.

Thanks much,
(etc)
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