Auros (auros) wrote,

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Voice Post: This is Auros. I have cats.

346K 1:33
“Cats are smarter than people think. Take my pair, the Onineko Sisters. The only reason they haven't carved a scarlet swath through my neighborhood is that I don't let them out. With nothing else to hunt, they kill flies that get in; one of them gets up high, on the cat tree or a shelf, projects herself across the room, smacking it out of the air. Then the other one kills it, and -- here's the kicker -- _brings it to me in exchange for cat treats_. Yes, they figured out that I was willing to bribe them to not swallow, and later regurgitate, bugs.

But that's not the cleverest thing they've done. I used to have my room arranged with the chest of drawers sitting next to the big sliding mirrored closet door. When they were still kittens, neither one could quite manage to open up that door, and there wasn't room between the bureau and the door for both of them. One day, I came home to find all the drawers open, and the closet open, and the kittens in the closet. This happened again the next day, and the next. Finally, on Saturday morning, I was sitting in bed and actually got to watch them: They'd roll over on their backs and scrabble at the first drawer until it opened, then hop up onto the newly created ledge, push the drawer open, climb in, and repeat, until they made a staircase. Then one of them would climb to the top, the other would go to the bottom, and _jointly_, they'd open the closet.

I'm telling, man, the only things holding these critters back from world domination is door-knobs and can-openers. And I don't know how long that's gonna last, so... watch out.”

Transcribed by: auros

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